10:24, two hours I have been laying in the dark. My blankets wrapped just right and my toes peak out the end for air to filter through. I said my prayers, moved to the edge of the bed, in my free space and all is right for me to fall asleep. Still my mind wanders making me reach over to tough my husband's arm just to make sure I am not as alone as I feel.
This night my mind is consumed by my parents. I add the numbers, going over the years of my life, of theirs and make an equation which may comfort my growing fear of their disappearing. Right now, there is twenty 24 years difference. That makes me the age my mother was when she had her third child. That also makes me feel I am younger than I should be and yet, fighting age as one would fight the flu, begging for mercy. If I get older so do my parents. If I move on to have my own children and watch them grow.
If I stay young, will my parents also resist aging?
This night my mind is consumed by my parents. I add the numbers, going over the years of my life, of theirs and make an equation which may comfort my growing fear of their disappearing. Right now, there is twenty 24 years difference. That makes me the age my mother was when she had her third child. That also makes me feel I am younger than I should be and yet, fighting age as one would fight the flu, begging for mercy. If I get older so do my parents. If I move on to have my own children and watch them grow.
If I stay young, will my parents also resist aging?
No comments:
Post a Comment